I got a guy with an awesome body to let me go to a rock concert

Didn't let me play The Witcher — took the keyboard and sat on top of it

Cheated on his wife with the first woman he met and regretted it

Honey, I googled how to come from a massage. Why don't we give it a shot?

I thought you were late, but when you saw your tits you didn't want your whores?

I don't have to cook for you, but I do give you on a schedule

You suck at Dota — I'm going to check you suck a dick

Almost blew me off on the first date, but the situation was saved by sex